The amazing story.

[aleincaveman]

I dreamed up another insane idea that sounds like fun. I remembered it from an exersise that one of my teachers gave to me in the 7th grade. It was the most memberable english lesson that I ever had. And I hated english. But this turned out to be funny as hell.
Here it is. I'll start a story, with one paragraph in under 200 charaters. One of you add another paragraph with less then 100 charaters to carry on the story. And as u all want you can add more. This makes for a very funny and interusting story in the end.Use your imagination, it can be the most unbelievable shit , well anything at all.
The more that perticapates the better that the story grows.It should be fictional or true. Nobody well ever be able to tell the differance, being that it could all be fictional.
I'll come in also and add to ur paragraphs 2 .
I'll start with this.



I was walking down the street one day and I met a chimpanzee. He asked?
"would you like to meet some of my friends?" I said." sure are they close by?" He told me that they where just down the street.



Have fun and do what ever with this. We should all carry on from the last paragraph. But add or own shit to carry it along.

[Hobbes874]

I followed the monkeys for a while, they then showed me down a dark alley. I was unsure at first but hey, they're just talking monkeys. Down the dark alley we went we got to a large metal door, they showed me in. I found myself in a room with a large round table with a huge fat monkey at the other end of it smoking a huge cuban. all around the room were monkeys in tuxes and other monkeys with Uzi's. This was a strange place to be and I felt a little uneasy. The fat one began to speak "Welcome Mr.Anderton, we have brought you he because you have something we want." What the fuck is he talking about? I thought to myself. just to be save I said "Hang on I know what your talking about" I reached into my trench jacket, around my back and pulled out my trust Desert Eagle!! I wipped it around my back and fired one clean shot into the fat one's head. His brain splattered against the wall behing him. There was a pause.........I then pulled out a 9mm from my hip and i killed the gaurd to my right and I flung myself against the floor, firing around me taking down at least 3 other bastards. Bullets started to fly through the table i was under. I fired into the shins of the monkeys, they fell easily. The all of the sudden........................

[aleincaveman]

I heard a shot wizz over my head from behind me. I turned ready to fire my weapon.
There standing before me was three chimps holding guns to the head of the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.
" Drop your weapons!" they demanded. " or we'll paint you with her brains."
I did'nt want such a beutiful woman to die, much less have her brians painted on me. So I dropped my gun.
Imeadantly I was sorrounded by chimps and they search me and took all my weapons.
Tey tied us up and chained us against the wall side by side. Then suddenly.....

[Downfall]

......the chimps started beating me like there was a banana in my pants. I looked over at the woman...trying not to imagine her brains painted on me or mine painted on her. One of the chimps started talking. I couldnt really tell what he was saying but the woman was listening closely. I was concentrating more on trying to figure out how would be the best way to get out of the chains, kill the 3 chimps with guns, and save the woman at the same time. Then sudenly....

[aphremen]

Shai-Halud, our creator's form on earth appeared and swallowed the three apes which were going ape-shit on me. I grabbed the Woman whom I one day hoped would wear my water rings in her hair and dug my maker hooks into the great worm, mounting him as so many of my forefathers had, and began to ride the worm out of the alley...

[Odm]

when I woke up in my room lying next to a package of magic mushrooms.

[aphremen]

And I wondered:How did I get here? This is not my beautiful house?! This is not my beautiful wife?!Who put me here and who drugged me...could it possibly have anything to do with...

[future man]

that god damned spicy meatball i ate for lunch, i thought that umpa guy waiter was weird. Im going to kill his family dammit.

[SaintDL]

so i went out of my house took a shotgun with me, shot the waiter and went into the kitchen preparing to kill the chef. and to my horror, the chef is a 200 feet ape. the first thought on my mind is: how deh hell did it manage to get in here? Then i feel someone smack me back to my senses. It was the beautiful babe from before. It wasn't a dream! We both ran out of the kitchen, relieved as the giant ape was trapped inside the kitchen. i thought: what the hell. so i grab the lady by the hand. and began to make hot passionate love to her outside of the kitchen while the ape watch. man was it great sex. i fucked her over and over again and i just can't stop. i wasn't satisfied when i finally came. so i told her to wait up while i get viagra from the nearby drugstore.

and when i step out of the restaurant. i began to noticed how empty the restaurant was and how come no one caught us while we have sex in front of the kitchen...just then i noticed the whole fucking street was empty and lifeless.

[Chimera[NL]]

Empty streets I thought......DAMN that T-virus. I made haste to the drugstore, bashed the door in and faced the 2 , now mutated, guard dogs left by the owner. The words OH SHIT went trough my mind while I was running to save my ass from being torn to shreds. I ran around a corner and saw a deserted Hummer just standing there with his doors still open. I jumped in, closed the doors and turned the key. A loud roar came from the hood, I shifted the gear into 1 and hit the gas......the dogs unaware of the fact that 3000 kg of steel on top of 50 inch wheels beats bone were crushed like they were ants. I turned my head to look at the now pathetic and puny remains of the dogs. "2 down, probably a lot more to go" I thought.
Riding back to the drugstore I noticed....

[kneo69]

That the girl i just had sex with was runnin' towards me with death dogs following close behind her! I pulled the parking brake and pulled a 180, and waited for her. As she approached i started rollin' to get a runnin' start. She jumped on the back and we took off. We arrived at the drugstore to find no dogs around. It was weird! We went inside and couldn't believe what we saw,...

[ibanez7]

Mother of christ and there I was. Sitting there in this drug store. Is this some mental relapse of a flashback that I experieced during a crazed 1970s disco drug binge.
I asked myself why am I sittiing there yet content with the fact that I'm surrounded by these aged crippled dieing monkees with walkers. With convulsions throughout the back of my hands,,, yes yes I realized rabbit adreneline, yes that is what I need to cure these dillusions of ...............

[aleincaveman]

Oh shit the delutions just got worse. I could'nt believe what I was seeing. The beutiful necked woman's body started to throb and convulse. Her hips widened as her tits grew fat and her nipples got fat and started to grow longer and longer. They started to whip around like snakes as milk started to spew out of them allover the place. every place that it hit me burned from thehot sweet smelling milk.
I turned to run but one of those long nipples wrapped itself around my neck.....

[kneo69]

which choked me to death....

[aleincaveman]

Seeing what she done the woman gave me cpr and when I came to...

[kneo69]

She apologized "I thought you were someone else!" I said "Well ok, but don't let it happen again!" So we went through the drugstore to the isle where they keep the viagra. I grabbed a bottle and took a couple. It felt weird. like some sort of dream. Then my pants started to bulge, until "BOING" out sprang my dick! But it was huge, "how could this happen, and why?"i said. "Who gives a fuck!" she said. So i turned her around and bent her over "Get ready!" as i thrust into her with all my lust. She screamed in ecstacy as i put it to her hard. Just as i was about to spew all over her tight ass.......

[aleincaveman]

A giant snake crowled in and swollowed her whole upper body in one bite. So I ran out into the street and kept running to get away from that snake. Then I saw a......

[blind_mad_cow]

The End...sign that some one put outside as a joke. i ran still feeling the effects of the Viagra into a internet coffee shop. I was......

[ibanez7]

sitting there, sipping back my cup of Joe, the viagra kicking in strong, as I stared iupon the half naked girl of Everquest that prances across this screen.
I decided to play with this fantasy girl of Everquest, commanding her where to go, what to do.
Hours pass by as I become deeply enthralled and aroused by this computer generated girl. I know she is fake but I cant stop.

After hundreds of hours of game play my body, face and mind begin to shape shift. My body becomes shorter and thinner, my skin becomes darker, my eyes morph from being round to more closed and slanted, my hair becomes slick and jet black. OH NO I've become................

[kneo69]

Jet Li! By this time the viagra had worn off but i was still naked so i went to Walmart to get some new clothes. The automatic opened 'SWOOSH', i strolled in to find the place was being run by more giant apes! The greeter at the door started jumping up and down screaming "LOOK IT'S JET LI, IT'S JET LI!". I said "calm down, calm down, where can i find some designer clothes here?" The ape replied "Ha this is Walmart man, designer isn't even in our vocab son!" "Whow man take it easy, just need some clothes brother!" i responded. "it's ok i'll find them myself." So i continued through the store, found some clothes i liked and wen't to the change rooms try them on. I opened the door to one of them and found this gorgeous woman sitting in there. She was about 5'5", blonde hair, blues eyes with a body to die for. She stood up and closed the door behind me. Turning to me she said.......

[ibanez7]

brriiiipppahhhhshoooshblurrrrippppp....

uht uht excuse me Mister Li but I farted.
Its ok" i said to the sexy lady" as we stared into eachothers eyes.
The natural scent that stained the air, released from perfect ghetto booty, teased my senses with a feeling of.........

[Chimera[NL]]

UTTER DISGUST. I left the room and gasped for air. NO WAY that I was staying in the dressing room another second! While I was pondering oin the question of how a beautiful ass like that could produce SUCH a filthy stench I ran back to my Hummer. "Fuck designers clothes, I'll just kick ass in what I find here" I said and ripped some simple clothing from the shelves. A pair of jeans and a white T-shirt was all I needed. Hell if it was good enough for the King (Duke Nukem offcourse) it sure as hell is good enough for me. While leaving the Walmart I picked up some ammo for the AK74 I found at the backseat of the hummer and some 12 gauge for my trusty shotgun. I jumped back in the hummer and drove off. "Destination please", a loud voice almost screamed when I powered up the old Hummer. Mmm this baby even has it's own nav-system. OK, let's try it out. Joe's Guns & Ammo I said. "Destination Confirmed". Allright, if I am to save the world from this fucking virus and the monkeys I better load up......LOAD UP GOOD!!!

2 HOURS LATER

shreeeeeek. The Hummer had come to a stand. I looked to the left and saw my favourite store....Joe's Guns & Ammo. I walked in and started loading. "Well let's see, I'll take the: Minigun, the Druganov, a Jackhammer, my trusty Desert Eagle, some handgrenades, some C4, and pipebombs...never leave home without THOSE, kids" I said. All loaded up I ran back to the Hummer only to witness.....

[aleincaveman]

The ground start to shake, and just beyond my hummer I saw it began to spin as a vortex formed in the ground. Everything around it started to get sucked inside of it. I saw that it was growing so I ran for the hummer. And just as I got it started, I felt it began to fall toward the hole. I tried to get away but then was sucked into it.
When I stopped spinning around, and with a hard landing I found myself in a very strange place. Not far away was a high mountian with a creepy looking castle on top in misty clouds. Fire shot out of the top as giant dragons circled around it.
And then.......

[SaintDL]

and then the ground underneath me start to rumble and a hole formed just where i was standing. i fell into the hole and felt a strange after-effect from the viagra i taken.

from my pants, out sprung something extremely huge and enormous. It kept growing and growing like the beanstalk in "jack and the beanstalk".

"aw crap"i thought, while taking a look at the bottle of viagra.
It reads: UMBRELLA corp ENGINEERED SPECIAL EDITION FAIRYTALE VIAGRA. WHERE SEX IS AS GOOD AS BEING IN A FAIRY TALE.

"fuckdamn!".

just then i heard someone said:" about time i finally found the beanstalk! now to hurry before the giant gets me."

i feel something very tickling ran down my giant dick. the tickling was imbearable and i CUMMED. the enormous CUM shot out to GOD KNOWS WHERE. and then its when i heard a very loud voice say" ARGH, FUCK, ITS CUM ALL OVER MEH! GRAGGH THE HUMAN KID I'M GOING TO GO GET HIM!"

just then the tickling have stopped. the human lad whom i figured was Jack ran off and shortly came back with an axe. that's where i started to REALLY PANIC.

"aww fuck, god help me through this one and i swear i'll never take drugs again. save my dick!"

[SaintDL]

then it happened. as Jack swings his axe near mah dick, Arnold came outta no where , took out a bottle and shout YOSH!

then i'm suddenly back to having sex with the hot lady and Arnold stood by the side with a disgusting grin on his face and he said BWAIN!!!

[Chimera[NL]]

So I said FUCK "BWAIN" and FUCK YOU! while busting his head with the back of my Desert Eagle. I got up and walked away from the little pool of blood that was once Arnold. Some of his braintissue still dripping from my boots I carried on. I picked up my other Desert Eagle gave former Arnold a quick "I'll be back" one-liner and got into my hummer. I had no idea where the hell I was so I just drove around in this unknown territory. Along the way I saw the weirdest things like.......

[Chimera[NL]]

PEOPLE....THE STORY IS FADING!!!!!!COME OOOOON!!