future man
August 22nd, 2009, 08:24 PM
I'm currently drinking a beer, because beer is delicious. Beer has been around for way longer than stuff like trucks, barbecue sauce, and even Jesus, so beer knows its shit, this is an indisputable fact. If you don't like beer, then you can kindly fuck yourself some place other than this thread, because this is the beer thread, in which to discuss beers.
Beer is one of the world's oldest prepared beverages, possibly dating back to the early Neolithic or 9000 BC, and is recorded in the written history of ancient Egypt and Mesopotamia.[8] The earliest Sumerian writings contain references to a type of beer. A prayer to the goddess Ninkasi, known as "The Hymn to Ninkasi", serves as both a prayer as well as a method of remembering the recipe for beer in a culture with few literate people.[5][6]
As almost any substance containing carbohydrates, mainly sugar or starch, can naturally undergo fermentation, it is likely that beer-like beverages were independently invented among various cultures throughout the world. The invention of bread and beer has been argued to be responsible for humanity's ability to develop technology and build civilization.[9][10][11] The earliest known chemical evidence of beer dates to circa 3500–3100 BC from the site of Godin Tepe in the Zagros Mountains of western Iran.[12]
Beer was spread through Europe by Germanic and Celtic tribes as far back as 3000 BC,[13] though it was mainly brewed on a domestic scale.[14] The product that the early Europeans drank might not be recognised as beer by most people today. The early European beers might contain alongside the basic starch source: fruits, honey, numerous types of plants, spices and other substances such as narcotic drugs.[15] What they did not contain was hops, as that was a later addition—first mentioned in Europe around 822 by a Carolingian Abbot[16] and again in 1067 by Abbess Hildegard of Bingen.[17]
Beer produced before the Industrial Revolution continued to be made and sold on a domestic scale, although by the 7th century AD, beer was also being produced and sold by European monasteries. During the Industrial Revolution, the production of beer moved from artisanal manufacture to industrial manufacture, and domestic manufacture ceased to be significant by the end of the 19th century.[18] The development of hydrometers and thermometers changed brewing by allowing the brewer more control of the process and greater knowledge of the results.
Today, the brewing industry is a global business, consisting of several dominant multinational companies and many thousands of smaller producers ranging from brewpubs to regional breweries.[19] More than 133 billion liters (35 billion gallons) are sold per year (the equivalent of a cube 510 metres on a side), producing total global revenues of $294.5 billion (£147.7 billion) in 2006.[20]
Beer was good enough for barbaric German tribes, monks who were probably manly as fuck, and even Egyptians. Considering all of that, beer should be good enough for your ass as well.
Some of my personal favorite types of beer:
Hefeweizen, or What Beer, if you speak lady.
Hefeweizen is basically the shit, it's the least commonly fucked up beer I've encountered in my slightly off-balance adventures in refreshment research. Hefeweizen, or wheat beer, as you might suspect, is brewed with a fuckton of wheat, hence the name. What differentiates this from other less manly brews is that fact that you could hit it with a 2k Lumen flashlight, look on the other side, and the bottle would still be solid bottle color, because this shit is mother fucking thick. Essentially, you're drinking a loaf of bread and run a pretty good chance of developing bitch tits if you consume more than three in a single sitting. In addition to being abso-fucking-lutely packed to the bring with wheat, a Hefeweizen is a top brewed beer, like a pale ale, and some other shit. This causes the beer to ferment more rapidly than it otherwise would, it also renders a maturation process basically useless, because it isn't going to get anymore fucking awesome.
That's basically all I know about wheat beers, or at least what I spout off to other people loudly and drunk when I'm confident that I'm consuming a far superior beverage to the one they're pouring into their head.
Some fucking alright Hefeweizen
This shit isn't by any means top dollar, some of it would probably be laughed at by beer snobs, but they're all good examples of a Hefeweizen, don't dispute me.
Widmer Hefeweizen
http://www.ibabuzz.com/bottomsup/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/widmer-hefeweizen-bottle-glass-21.jpg
This is the first Hefeweizen I had as an adult, all of the previous experiences were from horrible Germans at volksmarches when I was a child, because those people have to decency.
Widmer is something you should be able to find at your local Chevron, which serves as an immediate red flag. But, it's affordable, and it should let you get an idea of where a Hefeweizen can go. I suggest popping an orange slice into the glass along with it, it won't fit overly well into a bottle, although that remains an option.
Sam Adams Hefeweizen
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3263/2595412813_f3daa80844.jpg?v=0]
Don't fucking do it, this shit tastes like shit and you deserve to drink all six of the disgusting capsules of liquid hatred. Fuck you, Sam Adams.
Franziskaner Hefeweizen
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_N2YYxgBmsRI/SVhlV0ws0rI/AAAAAAAAADI/nKZ9kS63Y80/s320/FranziskanerHefeweizenDunkel.jpg
I enjoy the fuck out of the particular brew, and if you've only had either of the previously mentioned two Hefeweizen, you will too. This is the only that really delivers the liquid loaf of bread feeling. It isn't as cheap as either Sam Adam's Lidquid Feces, or Widmer Hef, but it's a larger bottle than I'm able to find for around $3-4 at local liquor stores, it's well worth it though. The more orange you can jam into this mother fucker the better it is.
Pyramid Hefeweizen
http://www.city-data.com/forum/attachments/food-drink/32827d1229810763-what-beer-do-you-drink-pyramidhefeweizen.jpg
I've had this on tap and from the bottle on various occasions, I'd have to lean towards suggesting you try it on tap. Two out of the three fine establishments I frequent have it readily available, one of them being the corporate Buffalo Wild Wings, the other being a seedy local pub some guy got stabbed and kidnapped in front of a few months ago. Straight out of the bottle this isn't shabby, it's better than Widmer, but manages to fall painfully short of Franziskaner unless you're already completely shitfaced. It's also less expensive than Franziskaner, so that might be a consideration.
Now that I've shared one of my favorite types of beer with you dickheads that are just going to kill this thread in a matter of days, why don't you share some with me? I rarely drink more than a six pack every week or two, but always enjoy finding something new that I can enjoy. Having some input from some other dudes would be better than grabbing some random filth off the shelf I end up getting fucked into drinking because I'm stupid.
Next time I get drunk, I'll be talking about some Pale Ale that I really enjoy.
Beer is one of the world's oldest prepared beverages, possibly dating back to the early Neolithic or 9000 BC, and is recorded in the written history of ancient Egypt and Mesopotamia.[8] The earliest Sumerian writings contain references to a type of beer. A prayer to the goddess Ninkasi, known as "The Hymn to Ninkasi", serves as both a prayer as well as a method of remembering the recipe for beer in a culture with few literate people.[5][6]
As almost any substance containing carbohydrates, mainly sugar or starch, can naturally undergo fermentation, it is likely that beer-like beverages were independently invented among various cultures throughout the world. The invention of bread and beer has been argued to be responsible for humanity's ability to develop technology and build civilization.[9][10][11] The earliest known chemical evidence of beer dates to circa 3500–3100 BC from the site of Godin Tepe in the Zagros Mountains of western Iran.[12]
Beer was spread through Europe by Germanic and Celtic tribes as far back as 3000 BC,[13] though it was mainly brewed on a domestic scale.[14] The product that the early Europeans drank might not be recognised as beer by most people today. The early European beers might contain alongside the basic starch source: fruits, honey, numerous types of plants, spices and other substances such as narcotic drugs.[15] What they did not contain was hops, as that was a later addition—first mentioned in Europe around 822 by a Carolingian Abbot[16] and again in 1067 by Abbess Hildegard of Bingen.[17]
Beer produced before the Industrial Revolution continued to be made and sold on a domestic scale, although by the 7th century AD, beer was also being produced and sold by European monasteries. During the Industrial Revolution, the production of beer moved from artisanal manufacture to industrial manufacture, and domestic manufacture ceased to be significant by the end of the 19th century.[18] The development of hydrometers and thermometers changed brewing by allowing the brewer more control of the process and greater knowledge of the results.
Today, the brewing industry is a global business, consisting of several dominant multinational companies and many thousands of smaller producers ranging from brewpubs to regional breweries.[19] More than 133 billion liters (35 billion gallons) are sold per year (the equivalent of a cube 510 metres on a side), producing total global revenues of $294.5 billion (£147.7 billion) in 2006.[20]
Beer was good enough for barbaric German tribes, monks who were probably manly as fuck, and even Egyptians. Considering all of that, beer should be good enough for your ass as well.
Some of my personal favorite types of beer:
Hefeweizen, or What Beer, if you speak lady.
Hefeweizen is basically the shit, it's the least commonly fucked up beer I've encountered in my slightly off-balance adventures in refreshment research. Hefeweizen, or wheat beer, as you might suspect, is brewed with a fuckton of wheat, hence the name. What differentiates this from other less manly brews is that fact that you could hit it with a 2k Lumen flashlight, look on the other side, and the bottle would still be solid bottle color, because this shit is mother fucking thick. Essentially, you're drinking a loaf of bread and run a pretty good chance of developing bitch tits if you consume more than three in a single sitting. In addition to being abso-fucking-lutely packed to the bring with wheat, a Hefeweizen is a top brewed beer, like a pale ale, and some other shit. This causes the beer to ferment more rapidly than it otherwise would, it also renders a maturation process basically useless, because it isn't going to get anymore fucking awesome.
That's basically all I know about wheat beers, or at least what I spout off to other people loudly and drunk when I'm confident that I'm consuming a far superior beverage to the one they're pouring into their head.
Some fucking alright Hefeweizen
This shit isn't by any means top dollar, some of it would probably be laughed at by beer snobs, but they're all good examples of a Hefeweizen, don't dispute me.
Widmer Hefeweizen
http://www.ibabuzz.com/bottomsup/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/widmer-hefeweizen-bottle-glass-21.jpg
This is the first Hefeweizen I had as an adult, all of the previous experiences were from horrible Germans at volksmarches when I was a child, because those people have to decency.
Widmer is something you should be able to find at your local Chevron, which serves as an immediate red flag. But, it's affordable, and it should let you get an idea of where a Hefeweizen can go. I suggest popping an orange slice into the glass along with it, it won't fit overly well into a bottle, although that remains an option.
Sam Adams Hefeweizen
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3263/2595412813_f3daa80844.jpg?v=0]
Don't fucking do it, this shit tastes like shit and you deserve to drink all six of the disgusting capsules of liquid hatred. Fuck you, Sam Adams.
Franziskaner Hefeweizen
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_N2YYxgBmsRI/SVhlV0ws0rI/AAAAAAAAADI/nKZ9kS63Y80/s320/FranziskanerHefeweizenDunkel.jpg
I enjoy the fuck out of the particular brew, and if you've only had either of the previously mentioned two Hefeweizen, you will too. This is the only that really delivers the liquid loaf of bread feeling. It isn't as cheap as either Sam Adam's Lidquid Feces, or Widmer Hef, but it's a larger bottle than I'm able to find for around $3-4 at local liquor stores, it's well worth it though. The more orange you can jam into this mother fucker the better it is.
Pyramid Hefeweizen
http://www.city-data.com/forum/attachments/food-drink/32827d1229810763-what-beer-do-you-drink-pyramidhefeweizen.jpg
I've had this on tap and from the bottle on various occasions, I'd have to lean towards suggesting you try it on tap. Two out of the three fine establishments I frequent have it readily available, one of them being the corporate Buffalo Wild Wings, the other being a seedy local pub some guy got stabbed and kidnapped in front of a few months ago. Straight out of the bottle this isn't shabby, it's better than Widmer, but manages to fall painfully short of Franziskaner unless you're already completely shitfaced. It's also less expensive than Franziskaner, so that might be a consideration.
Now that I've shared one of my favorite types of beer with you dickheads that are just going to kill this thread in a matter of days, why don't you share some with me? I rarely drink more than a six pack every week or two, but always enjoy finding something new that I can enjoy. Having some input from some other dudes would be better than grabbing some random filth off the shelf I end up getting fucked into drinking because I'm stupid.
Next time I get drunk, I'll be talking about some Pale Ale that I really enjoy.