Why I'm So Great - Part 2

[Phoosh]

Well. First things First. Absent's uncalled for attack has effected me about as much as a midget handjob. Thanks for exploiting your stupidity, it's always good to see a "thug" in the forums talking trash...now why don't you stick your hand in a blender before I "west side" your ass?

Secondly. Dear, confused, sexually inadequate Sixw00ter. The best retort you had was replacing "kick" with "suck". As far as deepthroating donkey penis, I left my circus days behind me long ago, as we've been over...and over...and over again. Beside, a little animal experimentation is nothing compared to your red light rituals, you sick wanker. All I can say is "Quadriple Penetration" and the picture is clear. By the way, how's that wheelchair I donated working out?

Now, for some more reasons I would more than suffice as Moderator/God Of This Forum:

1. I can kick absent's ass. Badly, severely. And I'd play with his unconscious body, first stuffing paper in his mouth and jumping on his stomach, then moving on from paper to more....tangible things.
(apologies for being crude there, but it was well deserved)

2. I am a nice guy. Six is uglier than me. Fuck you.

3. Even with all these hurtful, uncalled for character assassination attempts on myself, I'd take them lightly. I wouldn't go ban crazy and abuse my power, rather than resort to comebacks where I/large inmates are featured doing sexually explicit things to my attempted assassins.

4. I like beer. Beer is good. If you don't like beer, you wouldn't nominate me. But you do, so you will. Plus, I'm twice as likely to kick your ass with beer, as it heightens my reflexes and dulls my sense of pain.

5. I would use my power only for good. This is somewhat like #3, but I mean other than the occasional sacrifice to my dark lord, I would mainly use this newfound dictatorship (hehe, nice touch fascist) for benefitial purposes. Informative purposes. Maybe you're wondering, hey, what does he mean by that. Well for example, I would inform the forums (alliteration, nice touch as well) that

a. Six sucks

b. Absent swallows.

Alright, I wouldnt do anything childish like this, but it was funny to write, and thats a good thing.

[SixShooter]

As for Absent - I won't speak for him. I will let him fight his own battles.


The kick/suck comment? Thanks. I'm glad you saw the humor in it. I'd have posted more, but my time (and paitence) is limited these days. And since we're talking about red light rituals, your forays into the sexual applications of electroshock therapy are nothing to sneeze at either, my friend. I won't bore the forum readers with it, but suffice it to say that when the human skin actually glows red then bursts into flame, that can't be much fun for the recipient.

And the wheelchair needed a little WD-40 and a good hosedown to get rid of all of the insect carcasses and hamster entrails, but its otherwise fine!

Now, for your points.

1) I'll let Absent handle that one.

2) At least I have the confidence to post an actual picture of myself to horrify and pacify the masses - you're so ugly your face breaks camera lenses, you pantywaist. Fuck you three.

3) Don't deny it. You know you'll ban anyone who doesn't match your twisted sexual desires, and turn this forum into a barren wasteland of inactivity.

4) Beer. Is. Good.

5) Sure, you could use your powers for Good. It would depend entirely on your definition of the word good, however. Even Hitler wanted a utopia. (Now, I'm not saying you'd be Hitler, or anything, but if you scream Sieg Heil one more time, I'm going to have to smack you.) And if you alert the forums to anything you should add in

c. PhoucheBag regurgitates.

Thank you for your kind attention.

[Phoosh]

Well, I need not come up with a juvenile nickname for you like SixDoucher, or Dickrooter, or something like that, although the thought originally crossed my mind. I am far above that.

What can I say? Electroshock foreplay is a hot commodity these days (no pun intended) and I intend to cash in. Don't blame me when these pussies with apparent fetishes for pain show up and are crying 3 hours later. If I'm having fun I'm not gonna stop (that sounds really bad, let me reiterate:) until they're dead.
(there, much better)

And yes, I would ban those who cried after three hours after stepping up to the plate. If you can't take the pain, go home to your twist-ties and car batteries. This is the grown up leagues kids. Go big or go home.

Even making a connection between nazi leader Hitler and myself is a gross misinterpretation.

1. I do not target racial, religious, or distinguished groups or cultures of any sort. Everyone is a target, everyone is a victim. I'm the inspiration for Postal 2.

2. I don't have a mustache that makes me look fruity. Sorry, it's just not my style.

3. I could kick Hitler's ass.

As for not posting a photograph of myself, I do it as a courtesy fearing that it would trigger a flood of teenage - young adult women flocking the forums wanting to see my sexy bod and enormous bull dong. You should thank me. Nay, you should blow me.

So in closing Six, give me the position of moderator before I blind your brown eye, and push your rollerpig ass down the stairs. (I can't believe he said that, can you? No way, thats disgusting!)

[Smapdey]

"Shake them and see if they fight, timmy!"

I love you guys. You're what makes AT AT, I'm laughing crazy-like.

As for both of you:

I can kick both your asses, this is a proven fact. I did it last year. Remember? Oh wait, I kicked your asses so bad that you can't remember because I caused draim bramage.

Your names are terrible. We all know that Phoosh is the sound Phoosh's elephant's penis makes when it blows it's load into Phoosh's face. Sixshooter obviously refers to the fact that Six only releases 6 sperm when he shoots off.

As for Absent:

Just shut the fuck up. You're an idiot. Let the boys play (That's Six and Phoosh, I'm not even up to par with either of them, I just wanna act big).

[absent]

1) Mario ain't got SHIT on you when it comes down to plumbing someones asshole goatse-wide.

2) You're a nice guy, you deep throat my dick any time I ask you to. Ahh, let me present you with a golden shower, tard!

3) When you can come up with better retorts than "You suck" and "I'm a nice guy" or "I could kick Hitler's ass", then talk.

[Phoosh]

Wait....the anal rape thing...what the fuck? you get hot off mario brothers? Am I reading this wrong?


So, you retort with basically saying "suck my dick" and you've got the best comebacks in the biz....
Nice.
Have another drink and drive yourself home.

[portzebie]

All I have to say is wow this is to long for me to read every word so I skipped over absent's posts cause I knew they would be weak like his mom in bed!!!:D