View Full Version : Spread the pain (Horriffic redux from another forum)
FaydethePirate
March 9th, 2003, 06:47 PM
Summer before Sophmore year of College
Me: Would you like to get together some time?
Her: ...
Me: Ummm... hello?
Her: AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Me: (fuck)
3 months later, after collecting all the pieces of self-confidence I could find
Me: Want to meet up later?
Her: Sure, where?
Me: Daily Grind. Say, eleven pm?
Her: Sure. Can my boyfriend come?
Me: Wha?
Her: He's going to take me out dancing tonight.
Me: *stabs her in the face*
And the winner is:
Me: Hi, I'm Fayde. Would you like to go get some coffee after class today?
Her: I'm not going to fuck you.
Me: Excuse me?
Her: I said I'm not going to fuck you. I have mace in my purse, and I'm not afraid to use it.
Me: But.... I... coff...
Her: SHUT UP! (runs away)
So, I'm a miserable fuck. Feel free to post failed pickups.
_fayde
AVataRR
March 9th, 2003, 07:02 PM
Me: How much do you charge?
Her: How old are you?!
Me: Uh, 18...
Her: Fuck off, big boy..
..this happend in my head during a history excursion to the city..
:(
Phoosh
March 9th, 2003, 08:31 PM
Me: Hey, wanna get in my van?
Her: Wha?
Me: I've got candy, it's in the van!
Her: I shouldn't talk to stra..
Me: You're parents said it was ok. They're in the van too.
NuclearWhale
March 9th, 2003, 09:45 PM
Originally posted by Phoosh
Me: Hey, wanna get in my van?
Her: Wha?
Me: I've got candy, it's in the van!
Her: I shouldn't talk to stra..
Me: You're parents said it was ok. They're in the van too.
Lol Phoosh you never fail to make me laugh.
cr3am
March 9th, 2003, 10:07 PM
Me: Hi
Her: FUCK ME NOW!
Smapdey
March 9th, 2003, 10:30 PM
Her: I feel that sex is a normal thing for anyone and a natural part of being human.
Me: That's cool.
Her: I'm not going to have sex with you Jack.
Me: Oh, yeah, I knew that.
(Sad part was, I was dating her)
Me: You would like dance now, no? Hmmmmm?
Her: What?
Me: Shit.
Phoosh
March 9th, 2003, 11:19 PM
Aw. Im no hero. I just draw from real life.
er...
cjsneek
March 10th, 2003, 03:17 AM
Me: Hi sweetie, care for a dance ?
She: Just a sec. I'll go ask my mom.
Me: Ok. And while you're there ask her if she let you fuck me.
She: SLAP !
Man I don't get it ?!?
Where did I do wrong?
Calling her sweetie ? ? ? phew!
AVataRR
March 10th, 2003, 05:10 PM
Me: Would you have my virginity? I've been stuck with it for a while and I'm really getting bored with it.
Her: Uh.. I think I'm in the wrong channel. Bye..
^.^ an actual mIRC pickup attempt. :p
Jaredster
March 10th, 2003, 05:19 PM
not my line, from someone else in irc.
Boy: Hi, what you wanna do
Girl: Lets have sex
Boy: naw lets play with ants, look this one has a army helmet
Girl: bye
Yian
March 12th, 2003, 08:58 PM
Originally posted by Jaredster
not my line, from someone else in irc.
Boy: Hi, what you wanna do
Girl: Lets have sex
Boy: naw lets play with ants, look this one has a army helmet
Girl: bye
Gee I spit my burgers out! This is so funny!
Yian
March 12th, 2003, 09:09 PM
Okay this is probably the shittest one you will ever have...
Me: I'm plannig to buy something for your birthday.
Her: Please don't
Me: Huh... hey dopn't think too much! I buy my friend some gifts at their birthday all the time. Matt got something over the break...
Her: Maybe we shouldn't even be friends
Me: Okay.. where did that come from...
....
Her: I have to be honest... I never liked you too much the first time I met you. I was just being nice because you didn't look like you have too many friends, I thought you were poor, but sorry if I gave you the wrong impressions. I'm sorry.
Me: It's okay. I like you regardless. No friends... know-each-other? Is that fine?
Her: sure.
Guys, remember all the NEVER RUSH thing I was talking about?
That is where I learned it. It is not memorized, but nailed, into my mind. This is a conversation I will sure to remember, every single word, for the next many years to come.
Yian
March 12th, 2003, 09:14 PM
Originally posted by Yian
Me: It's okay. I like you regardless. No friends... know-each-other? Is that fine?
Her: sure.
How many of you think that Yian was a fucking dumbass for even saying that? I mean, why does he always have to be fucking nice to fucking everyone? Doesn't he know that sometimes being fucking mean to some fucking bitches feels fucking good? Yian is the most stupid fucking man in the fucking Kutztown University campus...
cr3am
March 13th, 2003, 12:06 AM
triple post... i see you're working your way up the sp4m ladder :D