Phoosh
March 17th, 2003, 11:05 PM
I don't mind Eminem, but I sing his songs better (this was written before jimmy fallon's Saturday Night Live shtick)
Loosen Yourself
If you took one shit, or one bowel movement,
To release everything you ever ate,
Would you evacuate, or just let it sit?
Yo, his palms are hairy, legs shaved, he's talking fairy
Lactose intolerant, he can't handle dairy
No ice cream here, cuz his bladder just won't carry
It'll drop bombs, when he's least prepared-y
What he choked down, he don't know how
Blowing corned chunks, and blowing em wow!
The clock's run out, times up, over plow!
Crap back in the alley way, oh there goes crabby cakes
Oh there goes salad, he choked
On his pasta, but he won’t blast out brown easy
Shitting bricks makes him queasy, he’s got his hole iced, it bleeds
It don’t matter, it seethes
He knows that, but he’s broke
Can’t buy band-aids, he knows,
When he goes back to his porto-toilet, that’s when it’s
Back to the lab again,
Testing ex-lax again,
He better evacuate right now or let the pasties grab him
Chorus:
You better loosen yourself, in the crapper, the moment
You blow it, you better let it go
You only get one shit, do not miss your chance to let it flow
This opportunity comes once in a closed stall, yo! (2x)
His soul’s escaping, through this hole that it’s gaping (real line lol)
This porcelain’s mine for the raping
Make me king, as I move toward a, fecal border
Sanitary life is boring, but rectal flooding is torture
It only grows longer, the longer you don’t log it
He stools it’s all over, these hos are crawling on him
Coast to coast loads, he’s known as the clogfather
Kidney stones, God only knows
He’s eaten beans outside home, he knows he can’t hold it
He’s back in Oklahoma, running, chunking on the floor
But squeeze your cheeks boldly, here comes the white bowl
These hoes don’t want him no more, he smells chocolate-y
He brown bagged into a prada purse
His colon cursed, dispersed
I suppose its not rehearsed, but the bowels move on
I think I wiped it on my t-shirt
Chorus:
You better loosen yourself, in the crapper, the moment
You blow it, you better let it go
You only get one shit, do not miss your chance to let it flow
This opportunity comes once in a closed stall, yo! (2x)
No more games, I’m a stain you with shit-filled grenades
Blow these motherfucking pants off, this turd’s engaged
I was playing in the beginning, before the pate
These khakis, these Airwalks, they’ll all get sprayed
But I kept eating and digesting the P.B. Skippy
Best believe someone’s paying if they get lippy
All the pain inside feels pretty shitty
I can’t go out now, my Hanes are looking skiddy
Feel like a hippie hopped up on LSD,
Sweating like a mofo when this cream starts feeling slippery
And turns out shit hits reputations critically
These insides are turning hard, and they’re getting even harder
Trying to eat nachos-cheesed without drinking water
Plus, teeter-totter caught between not charfing in my pants, and not being sodomed
Baby’s screaming for its mama cuz my fumes is causin’ trauma
Stay in one spot, boxer’s jellied or not?
Has gotten me to the point, I’m like a diaper
I’ve got, to formulate a plot, or I end up garbaged or crotched
Mom I love you but this urinal’s got
To go, I can’t blow into a millimeter pot
So here I go is my shot,
Rectum fail me not, this may be the only shit in three weeks that I got
Chorus:
You better loosen yourself, in the crapper, the moment
You blow it, you better let it go
You only get one shit, do not miss your chance to let it flow
This opportunity comes once in a closed stall, yo, you better! (2x)
You can shit anywhere that has a sewage system, man.
Loosen Yourself
If you took one shit, or one bowel movement,
To release everything you ever ate,
Would you evacuate, or just let it sit?
Yo, his palms are hairy, legs shaved, he's talking fairy
Lactose intolerant, he can't handle dairy
No ice cream here, cuz his bladder just won't carry
It'll drop bombs, when he's least prepared-y
What he choked down, he don't know how
Blowing corned chunks, and blowing em wow!
The clock's run out, times up, over plow!
Crap back in the alley way, oh there goes crabby cakes
Oh there goes salad, he choked
On his pasta, but he won’t blast out brown easy
Shitting bricks makes him queasy, he’s got his hole iced, it bleeds
It don’t matter, it seethes
He knows that, but he’s broke
Can’t buy band-aids, he knows,
When he goes back to his porto-toilet, that’s when it’s
Back to the lab again,
Testing ex-lax again,
He better evacuate right now or let the pasties grab him
Chorus:
You better loosen yourself, in the crapper, the moment
You blow it, you better let it go
You only get one shit, do not miss your chance to let it flow
This opportunity comes once in a closed stall, yo! (2x)
His soul’s escaping, through this hole that it’s gaping (real line lol)
This porcelain’s mine for the raping
Make me king, as I move toward a, fecal border
Sanitary life is boring, but rectal flooding is torture
It only grows longer, the longer you don’t log it
He stools it’s all over, these hos are crawling on him
Coast to coast loads, he’s known as the clogfather
Kidney stones, God only knows
He’s eaten beans outside home, he knows he can’t hold it
He’s back in Oklahoma, running, chunking on the floor
But squeeze your cheeks boldly, here comes the white bowl
These hoes don’t want him no more, he smells chocolate-y
He brown bagged into a prada purse
His colon cursed, dispersed
I suppose its not rehearsed, but the bowels move on
I think I wiped it on my t-shirt
Chorus:
You better loosen yourself, in the crapper, the moment
You blow it, you better let it go
You only get one shit, do not miss your chance to let it flow
This opportunity comes once in a closed stall, yo! (2x)
No more games, I’m a stain you with shit-filled grenades
Blow these motherfucking pants off, this turd’s engaged
I was playing in the beginning, before the pate
These khakis, these Airwalks, they’ll all get sprayed
But I kept eating and digesting the P.B. Skippy
Best believe someone’s paying if they get lippy
All the pain inside feels pretty shitty
I can’t go out now, my Hanes are looking skiddy
Feel like a hippie hopped up on LSD,
Sweating like a mofo when this cream starts feeling slippery
And turns out shit hits reputations critically
These insides are turning hard, and they’re getting even harder
Trying to eat nachos-cheesed without drinking water
Plus, teeter-totter caught between not charfing in my pants, and not being sodomed
Baby’s screaming for its mama cuz my fumes is causin’ trauma
Stay in one spot, boxer’s jellied or not?
Has gotten me to the point, I’m like a diaper
I’ve got, to formulate a plot, or I end up garbaged or crotched
Mom I love you but this urinal’s got
To go, I can’t blow into a millimeter pot
So here I go is my shot,
Rectum fail me not, this may be the only shit in three weeks that I got
Chorus:
You better loosen yourself, in the crapper, the moment
You blow it, you better let it go
You only get one shit, do not miss your chance to let it flow
This opportunity comes once in a closed stall, yo, you better! (2x)
You can shit anywhere that has a sewage system, man.