View Full Version : JO:E Recruiting
GSturge
February 26th, 2005, 11:52 AM
I am a dumb fuck. I didn't read the forum rules. Please mock me.
Oh, and I'll get an e-mail for every reply. Make them good.
Smapdey
February 26th, 2005, 12:00 PM
Game over.
Bannage = Very Yes.
Chimera[NL]
February 26th, 2005, 12:16 PM
AARGh Mail!
Chimera[NL]
February 26th, 2005, 12:17 PM
AARGh Mail!
(PS, Smap lower the cooldown period on posting multiple times.)
Chimera[NL]
February 26th, 2005, 12:18 PM
WTF? My posts aren't coming through!
Chimera[NL]
February 26th, 2005, 12:19 PM
I'm bored!
Chimera[NL]
February 26th, 2005, 12:19 PM
Chef Brian rocks!
Chimera[NL]
February 26th, 2005, 12:20 PM
Spamz0rs?
future man
February 26th, 2005, 12:20 PM
Cocks.
Chimera[NL]
February 26th, 2005, 12:21 PM
+1 for Chimie
future man
February 26th, 2005, 12:21 PM
Originally posted by Chimera[NL]
Spamz0rs?
More like fagz0rs, HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA..
+1, fatality
future man
February 26th, 2005, 12:22 PM
I'm mad at WoW, someone make me go up 3 levels so I can quest again.
Chimera[NL]
February 26th, 2005, 12:22 PM
Future man and I experimented with dildos. Farsimon is bit a wider now.
future man
February 26th, 2005, 12:22 PM
Yeah, and I'm internally bleeding, again.
future man
February 26th, 2005, 12:23 PM
I just realized you have more posts than I, HOW CAN THE BE?!
Chimera[NL]
February 26th, 2005, 12:23 PM
Future man, there is no other way to say this. It's over. it was fun while it lasted but it's over.
Chimera[NL]
February 26th, 2005, 12:23 PM
Originally posted by future man
I just realized you have more posts than I, HOW CAN THE BE?!
CuZ I R0cKzOrS! LOL~!!!
future man
February 26th, 2005, 12:23 PM
Originally posted by Chimera[NL]
Future man, there is no other way to say this. It's over. it was fun while it lasted but it's over.
I'll over you, with man goo.
I've really got nothing, and I'm tired.
Chimera[NL]
February 26th, 2005, 12:24 PM
BO0bAyZrs?~!
http://www.labatidora.net/galerias/zuzanna2twist/images/10.jpg
Chimera[NL]
February 26th, 2005, 12:26 PM
"Iemand zn muil open beuken"
Chimera[NL]
February 26th, 2005, 12:26 PM
I'm done. Chimera is a fag!
future man
February 26th, 2005, 12:30 PM
My hands smell like gun powder, and manliness.
Chimera[NL]
February 26th, 2005, 12:42 PM
Originally posted by future man
My hands smell like gun powder, and manliness.
Now for the last time. Semen != gunpowder
(ps. != is is not)
future man
February 26th, 2005, 12:43 PM
Man, we rocked this threads world.
Chimera[NL]
February 26th, 2005, 12:45 PM
Originally posted by future man
Chimera, you rock this world.
Yup.
Striker
February 26th, 2005, 01:12 PM
Do the wheels on the bus truly go round and round, or is it all a lie?
Striker
February 26th, 2005, 01:15 PM
Would somebody care to give a large bucket of Duplos?
Striker
February 26th, 2005, 01:15 PM
I'm sitting in somebody's closet.
Striker
February 26th, 2005, 01:16 PM
I called Mexico, they said you weren't really a panda. Why do you continue to lie? Is everything you told me a lie? How can I believe anything anymore? My whole world is crashing down. :(
Striker
February 26th, 2005, 01:17 PM
Quintuple post.
TopSecretBoy
February 26th, 2005, 01:19 PM
Once upon a time, there was a lad. A good one, that was Irish just a tad. And as such, he liked ale, and had a story, but was obviously pale. One that's worthy of a tale. This lad had a machinegun, to which with have fun; while I type and drink Pepsi one.
My hands are covered in glue.
badluckdice
February 26th, 2005, 01:52 PM
I like Chinese and Korean boys with lots of armpit hair. It's a real fetish. It's like everytime I see a good looking Chinese boy all I can think about is their pale skin and sudden bush of underarm hair. I once slept with this Chinese man and I started licking his armpit even before he had a bath. He gave me this weird look and told me I was a very
I can't imagine ever wanting to be 14 again. Of all the ages to be, I think that would be the worst one to wish for.
I love him so much I don't know what to do with myself. I've never felt this way about anyone else before. I don't think he cares about me and much as I care about him. I hope that i don't get annoying or nag him too much. Please, Love Me. Please.
badluckdice
February 26th, 2005, 01:53 PM
I'm an air traffic controller in southern california, and on the midnight shift I like to vector the loudest jets (727's and older 747's) straight over Beverly Hills at a low altitude just to wake up and piss off all those pretentious rich Hollywood fucks.
iv cheated on pretty much every bf iv ever had...i think im a little better now in that il try to hold back if its serious, but if the guy is a jerk then il always just cheat on him rather then break up with him and then i lie about it...and that makes me not trust anyone b/c if i tell guys that they can trust me, but i lie, then a lot of them must do the same thing- il never trust anyone
I have really ugly hair around my bellybutton. I hate it, but the more i shave it, the worse it gets. I hate it so much. I feel so gross and ugly.
badluckdice
February 26th, 2005, 01:55 PM
I get pissed off every time I see a confession by a girl about how she lost her virginity to a vibrator. That's like me saying I lost my virginity to my hand.
You CAN'T lose you virginity to an inanimate object. Virginity is a concept... a fictional construct. It's not your hymen. It's in your head.
i love the smell of shemale's farts
The next-door neighbors went away for a week's worth of vacation, and they asked me to babysit their dog. They told me they'd be paying me a lot of money, so i agreed. I was at their house one night, letting the dog out, when i decided to turn on the tube. i watched a little pit of porn, which turned into a lot of porn, and i got so horny, i had to jack-off. i was just about to come when i relaized i was at someone else's house. i couldn't do it all over their living room, and i didnt think i was going to make it to the bathroom. then i spotted scruff on the floor. i grabbed the tiny dog, thrust my penis into his anus, and ejaculated. the dog whined in delight, and i think he enjoyed it. to this day i have never told anyone, and i love to pet that dog all the time.
Chimera[NL]
February 26th, 2005, 01:55 PM
all provided by grouphug.us :D
badluckdice
February 26th, 2005, 01:58 PM
I tell everyone that I hate living in Kansas but I secretly like it.
i like to rest my nuts in my girlfriends eyes.
shes loves wearing her bollock goggles.
I had a crush on this girl I worked with. She was on a register all the time, and I'd visit her when it was slow. Well, I got her to go to a party at my friend's house, and the second she got drunk, I was all over her. I got a blowjob and then I fucked her and dropped her off at her doorstep, half dressed. The worst part is that I forgot most of what happened until I found panties in my backseat.
badluckdice
February 26th, 2005, 01:59 PM
all provided by grouphug.us
absofuckinglutely
but you messed up my p-p-p-postacular!
Hitman
February 26th, 2005, 02:22 PM
test.
Hitman
February 26th, 2005, 02:24 PM
didn't work... test 2.
Downfall
February 26th, 2005, 02:26 PM
post test
Hitman
February 26th, 2005, 02:27 PM
wtf.. test 4.
Hitman
February 26th, 2005, 02:28 PM
i'm fucked, I give up.. /end test.
DanTheMan
February 26th, 2005, 02:37 PM
R0xx0rz in m3h b0xx0rz
Chimera[NL]
February 26th, 2005, 03:51 PM
Originally posted by badluckdice
absofuckinglutely
but you messed up my p-p-p-postacular!
Nothing can beat my M-M-M-M-MONSTERPOST!
Smapdey
February 26th, 2005, 04:06 PM
Keep 'em coming!
Smapdey
February 26th, 2005, 04:06 PM
And again!
Smapdey
February 26th, 2005, 04:06 PM
and agian!
Smapdey
February 26th, 2005, 04:06 PM
and naiag!
Smapdey
February 26th, 2005, 04:07 PM
FARSIMON SUCKS
Smapdey
February 26th, 2005, 04:07 PM
Sucks!
Smapdey
February 26th, 2005, 04:07 PM
Echo
Smapdey
February 26th, 2005, 04:07 PM
+1
Smapdey
February 26th, 2005, 04:08 PM
You have to say something different with each post
Smapdey
February 26th, 2005, 04:08 PM
Originally posted by Smapdey
FARSIMON SUCKS
Smapdey
February 26th, 2005, 04:08 PM
Yes, yes he does.
Smapdey
February 26th, 2005, 04:08 PM
He sucks like the wind.
Smapdey
February 26th, 2005, 04:08 PM
Originally posted by Smapdey
FARSIMON SUCKS
Senor Sucko!
Smapdey
February 26th, 2005, 04:09 PM
Originally posted by Smapdey
FARSIMON SUCKS
He loves the cock.
Digital Pimp
February 26th, 2005, 04:13 PM
+1
nineball16
February 26th, 2005, 04:17 PM
Originally posted by GSturge
I am a dumb fuck. I didn't read the forum rules. Please mock me.
Oh, and I'll get an e-mail for every reply. Make them good.
what??
SnapJaw
February 26th, 2005, 04:19 PM
testes... testes...
can you hear me?
nineball16
February 26th, 2005, 04:19 PM
haha, thanks to the mods editing your post, your a dumbfuck who will recieve an e-mail for every reply
nineball16
February 26th, 2005, 04:19 PM
I wonder how many e-mails he'll get for 100 pages of replys?
nineball16
February 26th, 2005, 04:25 PM
20?
nineball16
February 26th, 2005, 04:25 PM
40?
nineball16
February 26th, 2005, 04:27 PM
+1
nineball16
February 26th, 2005, 04:28 PM
+ another 1
Striker
February 26th, 2005, 04:39 PM
I've seen things, I've seen them with my eyes.
Striker
February 26th, 2005, 04:40 PM
I've seen things, they're often in disguise.
Striker
February 26th, 2005, 04:42 PM
Like carrots,
Striker
February 26th, 2005, 04:43 PM
handbags,
Striker
February 26th, 2005, 04:44 PM
cheese.
Striker
February 26th, 2005, 04:44 PM
Man, this place has the best fuckin newb who didn't read the rules policy ever.
Hobbes874
February 26th, 2005, 05:15 PM
Snowboarding is teh PWNAGE!!!!!11111
DanTheMan
February 26th, 2005, 05:17 PM
6
DanTheMan
February 26th, 2005, 05:17 PM
x 2
DanTheMan
February 26th, 2005, 05:18 PM
- 8
DanTheMan
February 26th, 2005, 05:18 PM
x 3
DanTheMan
February 26th, 2005, 05:19 PM
+ 1
DanTheMan
February 26th, 2005, 05:20 PM
= 13
Chimera[NL]
February 26th, 2005, 05:21 PM
Originally posted by Smapdey
You have to say something different with each post
Yeah I found that out too. I was thoroughly dissapointed when I noticed I couldn't repeat my verbal genius a thousand times over. One part of it atleast.
nineball16
February 26th, 2005, 05:33 PM
no
Hobbes874
February 26th, 2005, 05:33 PM
HUGE WAAAAANGGGGG!!!!! FLAP FLAP FLAP!!!!
nineball16
February 26th, 2005, 05:33 PM
but
nineball16
February 26th, 2005, 05:34 PM
you
nineball16
February 26th, 2005, 05:35 PM
can
nineball16
February 26th, 2005, 05:35 PM
spam
nineball16
February 26th, 2005, 05:36 PM
this
nineball16
February 26th, 2005, 05:37 PM
thread
nineball16
February 26th, 2005, 05:37 PM
one
nineball16
February 26th, 2005, 05:38 PM
word
nineball16
February 26th, 2005, 05:38 PM
at
nineball16
February 26th, 2005, 05:39 PM
a
nineball16
February 26th, 2005, 05:39 PM
time
nineball16
February 26th, 2005, 05:40 PM
:)
Striker
February 26th, 2005, 05:54 PM
:eek:
MrBored
February 26th, 2005, 06:01 PM
Hello.
Hitman
February 26th, 2005, 06:09 PM
Hands hello a warm gun..
Hitman
February 26th, 2005, 06:10 PM
He aims..
Hitman
February 26th, 2005, 06:10 PM
He shoots..
Hitman
February 26th, 2005, 06:11 PM
He kills a fag.
Hobbes874
February 26th, 2005, 07:25 PM
Floppy donkey dick......teehee!!
dante.hk
February 26th, 2005, 08:29 PM
I had a Coke.
dante.hk
February 26th, 2005, 08:30 PM
It was really good.
dante.hk
February 26th, 2005, 08:30 PM
OMG I just burped and it went up my nose and it burns like a mother.
dante.hk
February 26th, 2005, 08:31 PM
Ok, it's over now.
dante.hk
February 26th, 2005, 08:32 PM
Now I'm drinking a gatorade and Hostess cupcakes for a late dinner.
dante.hk
February 26th, 2005, 08:33 PM
We got Gran Turismo 4. That is my dad's Evercrack.
dante.hk
February 26th, 2005, 08:34 PM
I want WoW.
iplayguitar
February 26th, 2005, 08:41 PM
i just masterbated
iplayguitar
February 26th, 2005, 08:42 PM
i watched sky lopez
iplayguitar
February 26th, 2005, 08:42 PM
and krystal steal
nineball16
February 26th, 2005, 08:43 PM
cool. tell us about it
iplayguitar
February 26th, 2005, 08:43 PM
in some hot lesbein action
iplayguitar
February 26th, 2005, 08:44 PM
god, it was good
iplayguitar
February 26th, 2005, 08:44 PM
then i went streaking
iplayguitar
February 26th, 2005, 08:45 PM
and got drunk afterwards
iplayguitar
February 26th, 2005, 08:46 PM
and now im here
iplayguitar
February 26th, 2005, 08:46 PM
talking to myself
iplayguitar
February 26th, 2005, 08:48 PM
because i have no life
iplayguitar
February 26th, 2005, 08:48 PM
but i have a guitar
nineball16
February 26th, 2005, 08:49 PM
i think this guy will prolly ignore his mail
nineball16
February 26th, 2005, 08:51 PM
either that or eaten by a whale
iplayguitar
February 26th, 2005, 08:51 PM
Originally posted by nineball16
i think this guy will prolly ignore his mail
who cares? im having fun
nineball16
February 26th, 2005, 08:51 PM
because he's female
nineball16
February 26th, 2005, 08:53 PM
Originally posted by iplayguitar
who cares? im having fun
good one. i almost had a rythym there ;)
*sigh*
oh well. Better start again there hey? :)
Smapdey
February 26th, 2005, 09:33 PM
I'm
Smapdey
February 26th, 2005, 09:34 PM
Originally posted by Smapdey
I'm
Going
Smapdey
February 26th, 2005, 09:34 PM
Originally posted by Smapdey
Going
To
Smapdey
February 26th, 2005, 09:34 PM
Originally posted by Smapdey
To
Give
Smapdey
February 26th, 2005, 09:34 PM
Originally posted by Smapdey
Give
A
Smapdey
February 26th, 2005, 09:34 PM
Originally posted by Smapdey
A
Lecture
Smapdey
February 26th, 2005, 09:34 PM
Originally posted by Smapdey
Lecture
Now:
Smapdey
February 26th, 2005, 09:35 PM
Originally posted by Smapdey
Now:
Read the fucking rules before you post.
Striker
February 26th, 2005, 09:43 PM
Why are you inside of me?
Hobbes874
February 26th, 2005, 09:49 PM
Originally posted by Striker
Why are you inside of me?
So I can make babies.
future man
February 26th, 2005, 09:54 PM
I'm going to eat them, with spread.
REBEL_AU
February 26th, 2005, 09:54 PM
what was the original post about?
future man
February 26th, 2005, 09:55 PM
I'll original post you.
REBEL_AU
February 26th, 2005, 09:55 PM
I bet it was something about touching mens balls.
future man
February 26th, 2005, 09:56 PM
Originally posted by iplayguitar
but i have a guitar
I have 3, 3 sexy guitars.
REBEL_AU
February 26th, 2005, 09:56 PM
can we turn this into the official AT spam thread?
future man
February 26th, 2005, 09:57 PM
It's pretty much been the official AT spam forums since day one.
REBEL_AU
February 26th, 2005, 10:00 PM
Originally posted by future man
It's pretty much been the official AT spam forums since day one. it has only been here for a day.
REBEL_AU
February 26th, 2005, 10:01 PM
damnit, its hot today.
REBEL_AU
February 26th, 2005, 10:03 PM
SPAMMMMM, SPAMMMMMM...
SPAAAAAMMMMMM!
REBEL_AU
February 26th, 2005, 10:04 PM
why is no one spamming?
REBEL_AU
February 26th, 2005, 10:07 PM
spam with me!
dante.hk
February 26th, 2005, 10:16 PM
Originally posted by REBEL_AU
spam with me!
I would love to spam with you.
dante.hk
February 26th, 2005, 10:16 PM
Spam with that would sound hot.
dante.hk
February 26th, 2005, 10:17 PM
I want WoW.
REBEL_AU
February 26th, 2005, 11:05 PM
+1
Striker
February 26th, 2005, 11:31 PM
Dave's closet is very hot.
Hobbes874
February 26th, 2005, 11:31 PM
The liquids in my head are all fucked up, and now I can't stand up right. Awesome.
future man
February 26th, 2005, 11:57 PM
Originally posted by REBEL_AU
it has only been here for a day.
The forums?
Smapdey
February 27th, 2005, 12:06 AM
He posted an ad for a clan for some game, saying that they were recruiting.
Digital Limit
February 27th, 2005, 12:23 AM
JOE IS RECRUITING w000t!!!!!!
REBEL_AU
February 27th, 2005, 12:41 AM
probably a crappy clan.
nineball16
February 27th, 2005, 01:43 AM
who cares. his inbox should be full
FATMAN
February 27th, 2005, 02:42 AM
I pwn j00, All your base belong to us :D
future man
February 27th, 2005, 02:52 AM
I think your ISP banned all our base.
SnapJaw
February 27th, 2005, 03:41 AM
You know what I just thought?
This guy's getting an e-bukkake...
REBEL_AU
February 27th, 2005, 05:18 AM
Originally posted by nineball16
who cares. his inbox should be full lets continue to spam.
badluckdice
February 27th, 2005, 08:42 AM
how do we know that he gave us a correct email?
badluckdice
February 27th, 2005, 08:42 AM
more group hug time
I am sexually attracted to both my Best female friend and best male friend Oooh what i would do to have a threesome *drools*
badluckdice
February 27th, 2005, 08:44 AM
One time I was really mad at my brother so I locked us out of the house and blamed it on him. He got into a lot of trouble.
badluckdice
February 27th, 2005, 08:45 AM
I am totally attracted to the 13 year ld girl who lives next door.
She has giant tits.
Not giant for a 13 year old, just plain giant.
She could be standing straight up and I could still titty fuck her.
Also, I had a dream about feeling up a broad while she was asleep and now I really want to do that.
badluckdice
February 27th, 2005, 08:46 AM
Once I did a sponsored 24hr famine, ate during it and then spent all the sponsor on myself.
badluckdice
February 27th, 2005, 08:48 AM
almost two years ago to the day -i was sent to the mental and behavioral ward of a hospital and was forced to stay there for several days. i despise this about my past and who i was at that time. however, it has made a HUGE impact of my life and in part, has made me become who i am today. well tomorrow itll be two years exactly and ive been feeling really sad this whole month because i can't stop thinking about it. my boyfriend keeps asking me whats wrong andi want to tell him. i jsut dont want people (especially him) to think that im using my past to illicit sympathy. i dont want any sympathy for it but its been on my mind constantly the past couple of weeks and its obvious theres somethign on my mind. i want to tell him because i think he would understand aspects of my personality better but i dont want him to think im crazy. its the worst part of myself and i dont want him to judge me on it. however, i want him to know, because i think he deserves to. but what will make him want to stay with a girl who was thrown in the looney bin?
badluckdice
February 27th, 2005, 08:50 AM
I get irrational when I get angry.
When I got home last night, there was a guy parked in my parking spot, so I had to park further than usual and hike back to my apartment.
So when I passed his car on the way to my building, I keyed it. And it was a nice, new, pretty and shiny SUV.
Even though I know it was wrong, I feel good everytime I think about.
I'm an asshole.
badluckdice
February 27th, 2005, 08:52 AM
i really want to bang my stepbrother. i wonder if he knows. his cock is huge, i saw it once... wow
badluckdice
February 27th, 2005, 08:54 AM
I'm gay. But I'm married. I came out about 4 years after I got married and some day my husband will walk in whilst I'm eating some girl's pussy.
I love my husband. He's my BEST friend. But he's not smooth with breasts and a pussy.
badluckdice
February 27th, 2005, 08:55 AM
i was having sex with a girl i worked with (and i already had a girlfriend at the time). i convinced her to let me put it in her but. she said i could as long as i didn't cum inside her. i did anyway and then told everyone where i work about how i got her in the butt and everyone made fun of her.
badluckdice
February 27th, 2005, 09:04 AM
I like to masturbate in the bathroom at work. I think about how i would like to fuck the secretaries in the mouth.
I dont feel bad when I see them after, they are dumb
Smapdey
February 27th, 2005, 09:43 AM
Where are you getting those?
Chimera[NL]
February 27th, 2005, 10:09 AM
Originally posted by Smapdey
Where are you getting those?
grouphug.us
Downfall
February 27th, 2005, 11:28 AM
It started out as a favor to a co-worker of mine who was going out of town for a few days to see her sisters college graduation. She asked me to house sit and I gladly obliged.
I arrived there Wednesday afternoon and watched them head out. Lots of food, alcohol, and the fact she had quite a few porn videos in her house made me a very happy person.
I opened up the food, watched some porn, and drifted off to sleep. I awoke the next morning to one of her dogs licking my face. I wiped off the drool and let them outside. I turned away from the door took a step, looked down and realized I had just stepped in an enormous pile of dog shit.
Not only was it dog shit, but apparently one of the dogs had jumped onto the table, ate the food I left out, and got sick off it. There were piles of shit and puke everywhere, not to mention the piss stains.
I was pretty pissed so I tied those damn dogs to the chair and clamped their jaws shut with a tied up rag so they wouldn't bark anymore.
I sprayed the mess with some resolve and called it good, I wasn't about to clean it up. After I ate and got dressed it was around 4 PM so I left and went out to watch a movie. I got back to their house at about 11 P.M. made some dinner and settled in for another fine evening of porn viewing. I took a look through the titles and settled on one titled 'Three Lesbians and a Midget.' Overall it was a pretty decent porn, a little shorter than I expected, but it left me tired and fulfilled.
I started getting ready for bed, and since I like to sleep in the buff, I wasn't wearing any clothes. The doorbell rang. Who the hell could that be I asked myself as I opened the door.
As luck would have it I completely fucking forgot I wasn't wearing any clothes and there at the door stood a police officer with his flashlight shining directly on me. This couldn't get any worse I thought, but it did. Apparently the police officer had left the lights on his car flashing and this attracted the attention of the whole neighborhood. I was standing naked in front of a good 20-30 people.
I don't know what was running through the cops mind at the time, all I know is I was standing their naked - fresh from watching porn, with the house smelling like shit, and in the background stood 2 dogs tied up with their jaws clamped together. I was fucked.
He slapped his handcuffs on me and was getting ready to take me away.
"Just a minute" I said "What exactly am I being arrested for?"
"Being naked in public is indecent exposure" he said.
"Well it's your fault I'm naked and in public now isn't it?"
"Yea" he said "But there are two tied up dogs in there, the house smells of shit and urine, and you were naked. Care to explain that?"
I was pretty sure I was beyond the point of explanation so I sat back and enjoyed the scenic ride to the jail. They were nice enough to issue me some clothes there. I was told I'd be given my phone call in the morning. Wonderful.
The officer led me to my cell. By this time I was exhausted and all I wanted was a little sleep. I plopped down on my bed and drifted off.
I woke up a few minutes later to the sound of heavy breathing. "What now?" I thought. I looked beside me and there stood the biggest man I'd ever seen in my life. 6 foot 5, with a flock of seagulls haircut and dressed fully in leather. Bad prison movie cliches anyone?
The first words out of his mouth were "You look a little lonely there baby, how about a back rub?"
I could sense my ass getting tense, it started sweating. It was scared.
This was it I thought, I was going to lose my anal virginity to a big gay prisoner with a lisp. I'd pictured some ways I'd lose my anal virginity, falling on a pole, having a college roommate violate me with a carrot while I was drunk, but I never thought it would be taken like this.
His hands went down my back.. I wished my ass good luck. I tried to get up but he held me down. "Don't worry" he said "I'll be gentle."
I felt the first hand caress my ass, then the second. This was it. The end of the innocence.
But then it happened, salvation. I was saved. A guard knocked on the cell door and said "You're free to go."
"Oh Thank God!" I yelled as I jumped up from the bed.
The guard looked at me and shook his head no. "Not until he's done with you" he laughed.
"Oh fuck me" I yelled.
A voice behind me rang out "If you say so sugar!"
I closed my eyes, gritted my teeth and clenched those cheeks together as hard as I could. I sure as hell wasn't going to give him easy access.
Then the cell door opened. "Come on out" said the officer.
"Really" I said "I can go?!"
"No" he said "Not you, him."
I let out a sigh of relief. After they left I looked down upon my ass and whispered "You did good old friend, you did good."
I went back to my bed and fell asleep.
I was let out of jail the next morning after I was able to get a hold of the woman whose house I was sitting and had her confirm to the police that I was supposed to be there.
Nothing could go wrong now.. it was truly a perfect day. Yet as I was leaving the police station I saw a picture of my face on the newspaper. I turned it over to get a better look.
There on the front page was me, standing buck naked in handcuffs. Accompanying the photo was a half-page article giving the details about my arrest. Photos of the house and dogs were also included inside.
I haven't gone out in public since.
badluckdice
February 27th, 2005, 11:50 AM
haha
that would be hilarious
Hobbes874
February 27th, 2005, 12:23 PM
+178th Email!!!
wangstramedeous
February 27th, 2005, 12:48 PM
lol holy shit
Hobbes874
February 27th, 2005, 01:22 PM
Originally posted by wangstramedeous
lol holy shit
tru.dat nigga!
Striker
February 27th, 2005, 01:26 PM
Mac mac!
TopSecretBoy
February 27th, 2005, 03:56 PM
Penis x316
Striker
February 27th, 2005, 03:57 PM
Dave sucks.
TopSecretBoy
February 27th, 2005, 03:57 PM
Rob's a faggot. :)
Striker
February 27th, 2005, 03:58 PM
I hate my life!!!
TopSecretBoy
February 27th, 2005, 03:58 PM
Just accept the truth.
Downfall
February 27th, 2005, 05:41 PM
the power of christ compelled me
Digital Limit
February 27th, 2005, 05:42 PM
He's probably changed accounts by now, no?
Hobbes874
February 27th, 2005, 05:43 PM
If he didn't then he's a tard.
iplayguitar
February 27th, 2005, 05:46 PM
spam taste nasty
Chimera[NL]
February 27th, 2005, 06:05 PM
Ok, it's over people. Let it die.
Hobbes874
February 27th, 2005, 06:45 PM
Originally posted by Chimera[NL]
Ok, it's over people. Let it die.
negative.
Striker
February 27th, 2005, 07:03 PM
Originally posted by Hobbes874
negative.
Roger.
Digital Limit
February 27th, 2005, 07:08 PM
Originally posted by Striker
Roger.
Wilco.
Downfall
February 27th, 2005, 07:38 PM
i think i just ate your chocolate covered squierl
REBEL_AU
February 27th, 2005, 09:26 PM
This one time I had a friend who was a loser. Then I killed him... brb
REBEL_AU
February 27th, 2005, 09:28 PM
I masturbate to videos of lions mating sometimes. Just seeing them mate gives me a raging hard-on for some reason.
I'm cool.
REBEL_AU
February 27th, 2005, 09:28 PM
The next-door neighbors went away for a week's worth of vacation, and they asked me to babysit their dog. They told me they'd be paying me a lot of money, so i agreed. I was at their house one night, letting the dog out, when i decided to turn on the tube. i watched a little pit of porn, which turned into a lot of porn, and i got so horny, i had to jack-off. i was just about to come when i relaized i was at someone else's house. i couldn't do it all over their living room, and i didnt think i was going to make it to the bathroom. then i spotted scruff on the floor. i grabbed the tiny dog, thrust my penis into his anus, and ejaculated. the dog whined in delight, and i think he enjoyed it. to this day i have never told anyone, and i love to pet that dog all the time.
REBEL_AU
February 27th, 2005, 09:29 PM
One of the families servants here walked in on me the other day when I was playing with the family's german shepherd in a sexual way. I don't know what she saw but I can't look at her now.
REBEL_AU
February 27th, 2005, 09:30 PM
When I was a kid, I took the next door neighbors puppy and stuck needles in it's eyes. After realizing that it was hurt bad, I knew that I had to kill it.
I clubbed it over the head and tried to burn it. The puppy woke up and started crying out in pain. I felt really bad. It smelled like burnt plastic and died in about 10 minutes.
REBEL_AU
February 27th, 2005, 09:31 PM
I am so in love with Lord of the Rings that I glued a dildo to a cardboard figure of Frodo and screwed him.
I am a 34 year old male.
REBEL_AU
February 27th, 2005, 09:32 PM
Once when I was camping, I went into the bathroom and there was a little kid peeing into one of those urnials that go all the way to the floor, so I pushed him into it and ran.
REBEL_AU
February 27th, 2005, 09:33 PM
i am worried about my penis.
REBEL_AU
February 27th, 2005, 09:34 PM
my friend brought me to a party thrown by two girls in their apartment. i thought the girls were bitches so i pissed on their toothbrushes and wiped my ass on a bathrobe
REBEL_AU
February 27th, 2005, 09:35 PM
I once spoofed an e-mail from god to a relgious friend of mine telling him to stop looking at porn and to give his computer to a friend in need.
I love my new computer.
REBEL_AU
February 27th, 2005, 09:38 PM
alright so this girl was giving me head and then i pointed to the distant right and said, "is that your father" (i lied... there was no one there) and she quickly looked... then i shot her right in the eye with my cream.
REBEL_AU
February 27th, 2005, 09:40 PM
im at a cafe and the guy next to me is GAY!
REBEL_AU
February 27th, 2005, 09:40 PM
I secretly hate my "best friend". He wronged me a long time ago and doesn't remember what he did to me. I have ruined his life while pretending to be best friends with him. I got him fired from a high paying job, I had sex with his wife who later divorced him, I had sex with one of his daughters, I got his son addicted to heroin, I stole his identity and spent all of his money, and now I am working on sending him to jail. When his life is in ruins and he is behind bars for life I will remind him that it was my mother he killed in a hit and run accident 8 years ago.
holy crap, that would make a kickass movie plot.
REBEL_AU
February 27th, 2005, 09:42 PM
Adrianna, I'm done being nice to you. I am going to post your nude photos on the internet. I'm going to send a big mystery box of doom to your parents with no returnee address, containing various photos that I'm sure you hope never see the light of day. I hope you choke on a big diseased cock.
Sunshine, rainbows, and lollipops, you cold, heartless whore.
REBEL_AU
February 27th, 2005, 09:43 PM
comment and read comments on this confession (beta)
sometimes a get an erection while im on a bus 2-5 minutes before my stop, it always goes ROCK HARD and a feel as if i should just get up and poke the person next to me in the face whith it. Also once i cummed in a letter and sent it to a random person.
REBEL_AU
February 27th, 2005, 09:43 PM
I asked my priest to touch me. I don't see why all the other boys don't want them to... I think it feels good.
REBEL_AU
February 27th, 2005, 09:44 PM
One time I pushed a 3 year old off a roof and blamed it on his dog.
REBEL_AU
February 27th, 2005, 09:46 PM
I forged a "free pie" coupon at Marie Callender's, and gave it to my wife. I didn't tell her it was a forged coupon, and she got arrested.
Bail is $750, and I can't afford it, so she's still in County Jail.
Sorry, honey!
Digital Limit
February 27th, 2005, 10:14 PM
Thanks for that. I laughed numerous times.
farsimon
February 28th, 2005, 07:39 AM
wow, what fucked up thread would be complete without the awesome spamming of the Gay Arnold...
Chimera[NL]
February 28th, 2005, 07:44 AM
Originally posted by REBEL_AU
holy crap, that would make a kickass movie plot.
Yeah too bad it's BS.
dante.hk
February 28th, 2005, 04:33 PM
Gay Arnold?
xenophage
February 28th, 2005, 09:29 PM
Originally posted by dante.hk
Gay Arnold?
Whatcha takin bout .......
farsimon
February 28th, 2005, 09:42 PM
Originally posted by dante.hk
Gay Arnold?
You'll get it sooner or later...
Hitman
February 28th, 2005, 09:45 PM
lol gay is the arnold.
That one about peeing in peoples shit is golden.. in highschool I use to do that whenever I went to a house party.
REBEL_AU
February 28th, 2005, 10:54 PM
Originally posted by Chimera[NL]
Yeah too bad it's BS. no shit. 90% of the things on that site would be BS.
Striker
February 28th, 2005, 11:28 PM
That one you posted would make a kickass movie.
nineball16
March 1st, 2005, 01:05 AM
is this guy still recieveing mail?
hehe, pwn3d
Smapdey
March 1st, 2005, 06:24 AM
Okay, I stopped the mail spammage.